Monday 19 March 2012

Epistemologically Unsound Conclusions Concerning Japan and the Japanese, Based on Japanese Television

Number six in a series of some

“Japan is a technological backwater”

I know, it’s got all those disturbing (sex) robots which otherwise serious engineers and academics seem to think will better help us/them understand (sex) emotions and (sex) feelings. “Captain Kirk, what is this ‘Love’ you humans speak of?” Never mind that these (sex) robots all dwell so deep down the uncanny valley they’re practically underground. Troglodyte (sex) mannequins are not the bleeding edge of technological sophistication.

And neither’s this. Or this. Or this. Never mind the (sexual) robotics, Japan clearly still hasn’t got to grips with PowerPoint yet. I know the first is pretty decent as far as model making goes, but the other two are cardboard signs and pointy sticks. That's primary school science project level. And that’s doing a disservice to primary school science projects.

These are prime time current affairs programmes, so clearly it can’t be a question of cost. All that cardboard and sticky-backed plastic adds up, and some of those things must have taken ages to construct. Clearly the only explanation is that no-one involved has the faintest idea about computer graphics.

You’d not think I’d let this go without a sexbot oral reference, would you? Don’t have nightmares.

8 comments:

  1. I was stunned to see the local news done with magnet characters and laminate pulloffs. Worse tech usage (none) than my local public access channel back in Hawaii....whaaaaaat tf? They still tape newspapers highlighting major stories onto a big whiteboard on one NHK program.....what is going on?

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    1. I reckon it because the sexbot addiction has got so bad that they've spent the country's entire technology budget on them and nothing else. For the last two decades. It's why they have to make do with gear from the early 90s everywhere else, because that's the last time they could afford anything more than their crippling fuckdoll habit. It's the only explanation that fits all the facts.

      Which reminds me of the point you made a couple of weeks back about the antiquated gear in police stations. There was that evidence tampering case last year, which was very shocking. Not because of the corruption, that happens everywhere, but because the tampered with evidence on a floppy disc. A floppy disc! Somewhere there's a low level flunky thinking, 'I gave up my only working copy of Doom for this?'

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    2. Yeah, the computers were shockingly old...was one of the things that first hit me. Having seen quite a few American police stations I was expecting something impressive and was totally confused?? It wasn't that it was an inaka town because Fukuoka which has a MAJOR Yak unit was just as bad. Only Fukuoka airport was shocking in an impressive way. You nailed it IMO...it's a time capsule of when they were last world movers and shakers...before the bubble burst. The computers look about that old.

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  2. All of the shows I work with use laminate pull-offs, cardboard cut-outs, and when they talk about a news story, they tape the newspaper up on the wall and zoom in on it. I agree that over all Japan is a technological backwater, especially as it relates to internet-literacy and wireless availability, but in the case of how the media chooses not to use technology... I have the sense that there might be some cultural business going on. They do have the ability to display pictures and graphics... they just choose not to for some reason that is beyond me.

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    1. Hi Bobby, I'd forgotten you were something of an insider when it comes to this, so your views are especially welcome (on any subject of course, but especially here). I know you say it's beyond you but if you fancied having a stab at explaining I'd certainly be interesting in hearing it.

      I should point out that this irregular series isn't meant to be taken too seriously. It's labelled 'half-baked nonsense' for a reason ;) I'm aiming to extrapolate wildly from the point of view of someone viewing Japanese TV with no cultural or linguistic awareness. Admittedly I don't have to work too hard to get into character, but still...

      Thanks for stopping by :)

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  3. I love the boards with the pull off bits. They are awesome :)

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  4. Transferrable skills, education, rote memory... no, I'll stop now. Mother-in-law actually apologized for The TV she gave us. She gets it now. There's a lot more to life than variety shows.

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  5. Kathryn - I think you're confusing the boards with strippers. Easily done, I know...

    Will - That should be the new tourist board slogan- 'Yokoso Japan! We apologise for the TV.'

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