Thursday 27 October 2011

The Answer to Your Question is 'Almost Everything'.

Not to sound offensive, but the author of this piece is clearly a fucking moron. That’s how it works, isn’t it? I write ‘Not to sound xxxx’ at the start of a sentence and it’s like a magic wand, completely negating all the xxxx sentiments I follow it with.

This article reads as if the author has just tossed every exhausted cliché about Japan into a sack, given it a desultory jiggle and let the results come dribbling out. Though for the full set they should have illustrated it with a picture of cherry blossom on Mount Fuji, or a ‘geisha’ using a mobile phone because, y’know, Japan is just such a unique mix of the traditional and the modern.

In its own way, it’s actually very reassuring, especially this –

“Not to sound stereotypical but the Japanese people are identical in everything from the way they dress, the homes they live in, the cars they own, the food they eat, the brands they adore and the ethics they comply to. It is indeed a homogenous nation in every respect.”

Because I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve mistakenly walked into someone else’s house, eaten their dinner and slept with their wife, simply because they’ve been so completely identical to my own. It’s a good job that “embedded in their persona is politeness, respect, equality and fairness” because otherwise things might have become awkward.

I tried to make the above point in the comments for the piece, but I guess the moderators weren’t keen. Fair enough; their site, their rules. But unfortunately that means you get the benefit of my razor-sharp wit here instead. Biting and incisive, aren’t I?

More concise, less gratuitous commentary over at Project Me.

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